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by suzanne schultz.........................................

Dear Layne

How does one write a letter like this? It was not suppose to be like this. You were my first cousin. You were younger than me so it was like you were my little brother. We spent many happy times playing together as children. Our dads were brothers so we were together alot. Our favorite thing to play was emergency. There was a show on in the 1970s call Emergency. You were the paramedic and I was the heart attack victim. You would use two 8 track tapes as the defibulators. You called them the thing that made you fly up off the bed. We had pickle juice drinking contest. We loved to ride go carts.
When our families went to the river we had a blast. Just being together was enough for us. That is not to say that there were not some sad times to. For reasons I never undersood you were not allowed to play with your toys much. Oh you got a toy every time we went to town but you were only allowed a short time to play with them before they were taken away from you and nailed shut in your toy box. You began to beg me to open the toy box so you could play with them. So I made you stand lookout while I pried it open. You were so happy to get to play with them that it broke my heart every time I had to make you put them back before I went home. We never did get caught. If we had I am sure all your toys would have been thrown away.
Then our world fell apart. Our dads had a huge fight. They stopped talking and we stopped being to gether. Even though we lived less than a mile apart it felt like we were in another state. I finished high school and moved away. You finished a few years later. I got married and had 2 children. You got married and had 3 children. I thought of you often and I never stopped loveing you. I would hear from you through family.
Then I got the call that you had Pancreatic Cancer. I knew it was bad but I never thought you would die. You were to young. Your youngest child was just 4 years old. You had so much left to do.
Then I got the call you were in I.C.U. I knew that you would fight. You would give it all you had to live. On May 19 2008 Your fight came to an end. You went home to be with God. You were only 38. To young to die. You left this world never knowing how much I loved you. In your death notice in your home town I learned alot about you I never knew. Like hunting and fishing. You loved remote controll cars and boats and ATVs. The thing than made me so proud of you is you loved church. You taught Sunday School and loved to sing. Your nick name was Lumpy. Than is the nick name of my littel dog. Her name is Bump but we call her Lumpy alot. That right there almost blew me away.
Layne I am so sorry I let our family tear us apart. The fight was theirs not ours. My dad went to heaven in 1991 without ever telling us what the fight was about. I waited to late to tell you that I loved you. But I do Layne I loved you then, I love you now and I will love you like the little brother I never had forever. Someday when my time on earth is over I hope we can meet in heaven so I can tell you how sorry I am for not being there for you. Untill then enjoy singing in our fathers Heavenly Chior.


Comments would be appreciated by the author, suzanne schultz

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