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I'm Tired

by Jenn .........................................

Too tired to breathe today it seems.
It pains me to keep living when I am crying on the inside.
I cannot be "okay" as everyone seems to want.
No, and I don't know how long I will be in this state,
but here I am.
My heart is full of pain and anguish. I miss them so. I miss what I will never have and what never was.
I am angry-I suppose it is the way I express my pain.
Yet, the anger only pushes people away.
I need them, but I loathe them at the same time.
Why do they get to feel normal?
I know the answers but my heart is red and full of puss.
It is infected with years of grief over death, abuse, and maltreatment. It grieves it's effects on my actions.
Dear God, help me. Help us who grieve so intensely, vehemently and seemingly endlessly. I am 27 years old, and i am exhausted. I feel like a woman three times my age. Ready to head home myself.
I pray for reprieve and hope today. I pray for love to fill the nasty that floods me. Lord, give us all peace today-beyond reason or comprehension.
Thank you, Lord.

Comments would be appreciated by the author, Jenn

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